I am your plumber, no, I never went away
I still bug your bedrooms and pick up everything you say
It can be a boring job
To monitor all day your excess talk

I hear when you're drinking and cheating on your lonely wife
I play tape recordings of you to my friends at night
We've got our girl in bed with you
You're on candid camera, we just un-elected you

I am the owl
I seek out the foul
Wipe 'em away, keep America free
For clean living folks like me

If you demonstrate against somebody we like
I'll slip on my wig and see if I can start a riot
Transform you to an angry mob
All your leaders go to jail for my job

But we ain't [bad word]  political trials are taboo
We've got secret ways of getting rid of you
Fill you full of LSD
And turn you loose on a freeway - whee!

I am the owl
I seek out the foul
Wipe 'em away, keep America free
For clean living folks like me

Send you spinning, send you spinning
Send you spinning all over the freeway, spinning on the crowded freeway
Spinning on the freeway, spinning on the freeway, spinning on the freeway, spinning on the freeway
Spinning on the freeway, spinning on the freeway, spin, spin, spin, look out!

The press, they never even cared
Why a youth leader walked into a speeding car
In ten years or so, we'll leak the [bad word] 
But by then, it's only so much paper

You know, Watergate hurt but nothing really ever changed
teeny bit quieter, but we still play our little games
We still play our little games, we still play our little games
We still play our little, we still play our little, we still play a lot of games 

I am the owl, I seek out the foul
Wipe 'em away, keep America free
Wipe 'em away, keep America free
Wipe 'em away, keep America free for me