I went up for my interview on the fourth day of July.
First old man he questioned me until I nearly cried,
Made me fill in forms until I shook with fear
About the colour of my toilet roll and if my cousin's [bad word] 

CHROUS:

Here's your goldwatch and the shackles for your chain
And your piece of paper to say you left here sane.
And if you've a son who wants a good career
Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty
years. [bad word] 

He asked me how many jobs I'd had before.
He nearly had a heart attack when I answered, four.
Four jobs in twenty years, oh, this can never be
We only take on men who work until they die. [bad word] 

He took me outside to where the gravestones stand in line.
This is where we bury them in quick-stone and in lime
And if [bad word] to work for us on this you must agree,
That if you're going to die please do it during tea. [bad word] 

This story that you heard you may think rather [bad word] 
But it is the [bad word] you'll be surprised to hear.
I did not want no job upon the board,
I just wanted to take a broom and sweep the bloody floor.