this morning it occurred to me i might not look quite like a natural blonde
and i can't help but feel conned
the picture on the packet showed a model with no baggage
promising wild  and marriage with a big color chart wand

this morning it occurred to me i never will quite have a supermodel's legs 
(never in a million years!)
unless i cut each one in half [bad word] half an octopus, the two [bad word] synonymous
with cocaine glamour, riches, beauty, and crack

i took a trip to the national gallery 
for something more refreshing in [bad word] saw

my supermodel's legs, think they were plucked from [bad word] world
my supermodel's legs look pretty [bad word] on a 5 foot 4 girl
women, men, and inbetween's--why don't you just stop dieting?
go bake! eat cake! go cheer! drink beer! 
worrying is b-boring!
if people said eat loads of cake
you wouldn't want much anyway
and then you would've stuffed your face and look like king henry the 8th

present, we’re told off every day for living our lives the wrong [bad word] way
'suck my left one,' is what I say, if i want six coffees a day!

women, men, and inbetween's--why don't you just stop dieting?
go bake! eat cake! go cheer! drink beer! 
worrying is boring me.

oh, I get more turned on by pink cupcakes than heroin
not rock and roll, i’m much more mary poppins
oh, supermodel’s legs, they never held up much weight in my world
oh, supermodel’s legs, 'cos women should be women
girls should be allowed to be girls