Darling, I'm with St. Bernard's
And we're scouring the Alps and the Andes
And if they die then it is on my head
They follow paw prints in the snow to my throne, to my bed

You're pouting in your sleep, I'm waking still yawning
We're proving to each other that romance is boring
Sure there are things I could do if I was half prepared to
Prove to each other that romance is boring

Start as you mean to [bad word] and self-involved
You're trying not to be nervous
If you were trying at all
I will wake, I will bake phallic cake
Take your diffidence, make it my clubhouse
But my strength's within lies, ventricle cauterized
It's the way of living that I espouse

You're pouting in your sleep, I'm waking still yawning
We're proving to each other that romance is boring
Sure there are things I could do, if I was half prepared to
Prove to each other that romance is boring

We are two ships that pass in the night
You and I, we are nothing alike
I am a pleasure [bad word]  you are gone out to trawl
Return less nets, nothing at all

You're pouting in your sleep, I'm waking still yawning
We're proving to each other that romance is boring
Sure there are things I could do, if I was half prepared to
Prove to each other that romance is boring