One day I went to Malta to a big hotel. In the morning I go down to eat a breakfast. I tell the waitress “I wanna two pieces of toast.” She brings me only one piece. I tell her “I want two piece!” She say “Go to the toilet!” I say “You no understand, I want two piece on my plate!” She say “You better not [bad word] on the table you son of a [bad word] #33;”I don’t even know the lady and she call me a son of a beach!

Later, I go to eat at a bigger restaurant. The waiter brings be a spoon, a knife, but no fock (fork). I tell her I wanted a fock. She tell me “Everybody wanna [bad word] ” I tell her “You no understand, I wanna fock on the table.” She say “You better no [bad word] on the table you son of a [bad word] #33;

So I go back to my room in a hotel, and there is no sheets on the bed. “Call the manager, I’m telle himm I wanna sheet.” He telle me to go to the toilet! I say “You no understand, I want a sheet on my bed!” He said “You better not [bad word] on the bed you son of a [bad word] #33;”

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk said “Peace on you,” I said  [bad word] ON YOU TOO YOU SON OF BEACH! I’M GOING BACK TO ITALIA! Arrivederci!”