I have a friend in you, oh Mr Clarinet 
You make me laugh, and then cry like the song of the clarinet. 
Marry me, marry me alive O 
I put on my coat of [bad word] 
Will she be there? is my piccolo on straight? 

Her white stockings and red dress that goes 
Swish, swish, swish around her legs of lace 
Marry me, marry me alive O 

Could you tell her 
Would you tell her for me, oh Mr Clarinet 
That I love her love her, oh love her 
I love her but I cannot wait 

Marry me, marry me alive O 
Oh maybe, oh maybe lie down 

I love her, love her, love her 
Love her love her love her love her