Brighten up you home, it said in the advert
All your decorating done by an expert
How the [bad word] was I to know he's such a dirty sod
I wanted subtle shades, maybe something duller
There's paint on the chairs & the dogs a different colour
I'm the only bloke I know that does have a day-glo scullery...
 [bad word] ]
Dez the [bad word] back, he's [bad word] back ooeee
Dez the demon...never get a cheque, he'll never get a cheque from me
Dez the demon decorator
He split a tin o'gloss coz he's a clumsy swine
I'll paint the carpet pink, I've got no turpentine
Pink footprints everywhere reminding me
The neighbours came for tea & they began to frown
The wallpaper was [bad word] eyed, flowers upside down
What the flippen 'ecks that decorating clown done now...
 [bad word] ... Guitar Bit]
Dez the demons deed is done, my house is an eye-sore
Bumps & Lumps in the wallpaper, paint splashed on the floor
I won't be calling Dez the demon, won't be calling Dez the demon
I won't be calling Dez the demon decorator anymore...
 [bad word]