Josh:
I banged you here.

Greg:
I nailed you there.

Josh:
And on this couch.

Greg:
And in this chair.

Josh:
In the doorway.

Greg:
The hallway.

Josh:
On every stair.

Josh and Greg:
We tapped that [bad word] 
all over this house. 

Greg:
Sometimes him,
sometimes me.

Josh:
Though never
simultaneously.

Greg:
But one of us
was hittin' it usually.

Josh and Greg:
We tapped that [bad word] 
all over this house. 

You'll never escape us
Because we live in your head!

Just two swell dudes
that you screwed...

Greg:
Here!

Josh:
And there!

Josh:
And here!

Greg:
And there!

Josh and Greg:
And occasionally
in your bed!

Josh:
That bed is really [bad word] #33;

Greg:
Right? It's like a prison cot!

Josh:
On the stove.

Greg:
Over the sink.

Josh:
And sort of in the fridge
one time I think.

Greg:
And then we hit
the back patio!

Josh:
That's where we hit you're
back pati...

Josh and Greg:
OHHHH!

Josh and Greg:
We tapped that [bad word] 
all over this house!

How many times
did we tap that behind?

Greg:
Well, lets estimate!

Josh:
On an average day
I would have to say
mmm....5, 6, 7, 8! 

Greg:
What...too cheeky?

Josh:
Hey, does this ring a bell?

[imitating Rebecca]
little to the left.

Greg:
[imitating Rebecca]
Oh, okay now, a little to the right.

Josh:
[imitating Rebecca]
little to the left.
Oh, oh, oh wait!
Back to the left!

Greg:
[imitating Rebecca]
Oh, oh, right there, right there!

Josh:
[imitating Rebecca]
Wait no!
You're doing it wrong!
I'll do it myself!

Greg:
Barkeep...what's on tap?

Rebecca:
It's me, it's my [bad word] 

Greg:
Ooh! Sounds refreshing!

Josh:
On the table you were
willing and able!

Greg:
On the ottoman
you took a lot of man!

Josh:
And in the safe in the closet
I made a deposit!

Xander:
I also tapped that [bad word] 
all over this house!

Josh:
Let's wrap this up with a big finish!

Greg:
But where should we finish?

Rebecca:
Please, not on my chest!

No, you'll scratch it!

Greg:
On the accent wall!

Josh:
On the bathroom floor!

Greg:
You didn't care where...

Josh:
You just wanted more!

Josh and Greg':
How much tapping
could one [bad word] endure?

We tapped that [bad word] ..
[tapped that [bad word] 
We tapped that [bad word] ...
[tapped that [bad word] 

We tapped that [bad word] ..
All over this house!