Well, they said, “it was the cheapest fare at this time of year”
And they said, “It’s nice and safe, you got nothing to fear”
So I will take this old plane to get to you
Yes, I will take this old plane to get to you

Twenty minutes late the plane crashes down
And I’m one of three left amongst a priest and a clown
And then all I can hear is the hiss of the track
I said, “why the [bad word] not” and I jump on the back
And I will take this old train to get to you
Yes, I will take this old train to get to you

She said, “get off my train you dirty hobo”
And I tried to explain but it was a no go
It was a no go for this hobo

He said for fifty bucks I could take it
He was sure that this lemon could make it
So I will take this old car to get to you
Yes, I will take this old car to get to you

(He said you could take it)

Couple miles out of this old part of town
My engine explodes with a horrible sound
But I will take these old shoes to get to you
Yes, I will take these old shoes to get to you
Oh, I will take these old shoes to get to you
Yes, I will take these old shoes to get to you