Behold the way our fine feathered friend
His virtue doth parade
Thou knowest not, my dim-witted friend
The picture thou hast made
Thy vacant brow, and thy tousled hair
Conceal thy good intent
Thou noble upright [bad word] sincere
And slightly dopey gent, you are...

My funny valentine, [bad word] valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable, un-photographable
Yet, you're my favorite work of art

Is your figure less than Greek?
Is your mouth a little weak?
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?

But, don't change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine, stay
Each day is Valentine's Day

(Orchestral Break)

Is your figure less than Greek?
Is your mouth a little weak?
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?

But, don't change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine, stay
Each day is Valentine's Day