Quite often I get a thinking
How as kids we got by
Like christmas time in our house
We couldn't even afford a fire

But we made do in our house
Back then when I was young
Dad used to suck a peppermint
And we'd all sit round his tongue

We couldn't afford no tinsel
On our christmas tree
So we'd just wheel old grandad in
And make the old [bad word] sneeze...atchoo

Wheel him round the other
side granny...atchoo

Well things change so bloody fast
I got children now of me own
Now I heard 'em unwrap their presents
Last night when I got home

Santa claus you [bad word] Where's my [bad word] bike
I've unwrapped all this other junk
There's nothing what i like

I've wrote you a letter
And [bad word] to see you twice
You geriatric [bad word] Where's my [bad word] bike

If i wanted a pair of [bad word] shoes
I would've [bad word] asked
This cowboy suit and ping-pong set
You can stick right up your [bad word] 
[ Find more Lyrics on [bad word] /mp3lyrics.org/RyaW ]
You went and mucked my order up
It's enough to make you spew
It's not just me that's [bad word] off
My sister's cheesed off too

Santa claUs you [bad word] Where's my [bad word] pram
You promised me you [bad word] [bad word] You know who I am

'Cos I'm the little girl
You made sit right on your hand
Never mind your ho ho ho
Where's my [bad word] pram

Next time i go to see him
I'm gonna punch him in the guts
Set his [bad word] reindeer loose [bad word] in the nuts

Just you wait til next year
'Til we get to that store
mate of my little sister [bad word] stomping through that door

Hey mums and dads just check his breath
And watch his bloodshot eyes
Don't listen to him boys and girls
'Cos he tells [bad word] lies

He's a [bad word] and a pervert
He's not even [bad word] bright
'Cos that [bad word] [bad word] Forgot my [bad word] bike

Hey santa claus you [bad word] Where's my [bad word] bike
I've unwrapped all this other junk
There's nothing what I like

I wrote you a [bad word] letter
And I came to see you twice
You geriatric [bad word] Forgot my [bad word] bike

Yeah I'm gonna tell my dad on you [bad word] punch your head in... [bad word] I saw mummy sucking santa