The books you think I wrote are way too thick.
Who needs a thousand metaphors to figure out you shouldn't be a [bad word] 
And I don't watch you when you sleep.
Surprisingly I don't use my omnipotence to be a [bad word] creep

You're not going to heaven
Why the [bad word] would you think I'd ever kick it with you?
None of you are going to heaven
There's a trillion aliens cooler than you

You shouldn't abstain from rape just 'cause you think that I want you to
You shouldn't rape 'cause rape is a [bad word] up thing to do
(Pretty obvious, just don't [bad word] rape people)

I don't think [bad word] is obscene
It's absolutely natural and the weirdest [bad word] thing I've ever seen
You make my job a living [bad word] and
I sent [bad word] to fix overpopulation
And boy did that go well

You're not going to heaven
Eat a thousand crackers sing a million hymns

None of you are going to heaven
You're not my children
You're a bad game of Sims

You shouldn't abstain from pork just 'cause you think that I want you to
You can eat pork 'cause why the [bad word] would I give a [bad word] 
(I created the universe, think I'd draw the line at the [bad word] deli aisle?)

You argue and you bicker and you fight
Atheists and Catholics, Jews and Hindus argue day and night
Over what they think is [bad word] But no one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you

You pray so badly for heaven
Knowing any day might be the day that you die
But maybe life on earth could be heaven
Doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try

My love's the type of thing that you have to earn
And when you earn it you won't need it

I'm not gonna give you love just 'cause I know that you want me to
If you want love then the love's [bad word] from you

Оригинал: [bad word] [bad word] bo_burnham/song_from_the_perspective_of_god
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