Calvin - Hey kids, I have special trip for you today. Kurt Cobain's here. You know, Kurt Cobain from Aberdeen. (pause) 
(To Kurt) What's going on Baby? 

Kurt - Not a [bad word] thing. 

Calvin - I see. 

Kurt - How are you? 

Calvin - Pretty groovy. 

Kurt - I allowed to ask you that? 

Calvin - Umm, not really. 

Kurt - Oh. 

Calvin - Umm, I was, uh, I was fine. I was just hanging out here on the Boy Meets Girl Show, and, umm, you called up and said, "I wanna play some songs." 

Kurt - 'Tis [bad word]  

Calvin - So I said, "Rockin' good news." 

Kurt - Bloody brilliant! 

Calvin - So, uhh, what's going on. You got some new tunes? You gonna share 'em with us or what? 

Kurt - Yes, I'm gonna share some new tunes with you. 

Calvin - Cool. 

Kurt - And everyone else. Umm, I just wrote most of the lyrics this evening. 

Calvin - On the...In the car on the way up here? 

Kurt - While I was driving with one foot. 

Calvin - UH HUH?! 

Kurt - I wanted it to be as spontaneous as possible, you know? So, umm. Umm. Yeah, that's what I did. I just, thought I'd [bad word] here and say "Hi." 

Calvin - Let 'er rip. 

Kurt - OK, (pause) uhh, this song's called "Opinion." 

(Kurt performs "Opinion")

Congratulations, you have won
It's a year's subscription of bad puns
And a make shift story of concern
And to set it up before it burns

My opinions. Mmmmm mmmmm (x4)

And there seems to be a problem here
The scale of emotions seems to clear
Now they rise and fall like Wall Street stock
And they have an affect on our peace talks

Our opinions. Mmmmm mmmmm (x2)
My opinions. Mmmmm mmmmm (x2)

Congratulations, you have won
It's a year's subscription of bad puns
And a make shift story of concern
And to set it up before it burns

Our opinions. Mmmmm mmmm
Your opinions. Mmmmm mmmm (x4)

Kurt - Don't you think that song sounds like Taxman?

Calvin - Nothing sounds like Taxman after I heard the Jam doing Start. You heard that song?

Kurt - Err...

Calvin - Sounds exactly like Taxman. So I mean.. You [bad word] close to sounding like Taxman like the The Jam do.

Kurt - Oh well you know there is a song called Mr. Cigarette Man by Herman's Hermit.

Calvin - I haven't heard that one.

Kurt - Boy oh boy..
Oh, and here's a song that was.. that's gonna be on.. our new album.

Calvin - On who's new album.

Kurt - On Nirvana's new album.
And it's called "Lithium".
And I'll play it.

(Kurt plays the first chords of "Lithium")

Kurt - Does it sounded okay?

Calvin - Sounds really good.

Kurt - Good...

(Kurt performs "Lithium")

I'm so happy 'cause today
I've found my friends ...
They're in my head
I'm so ugly, but that's okay, 'cause so are you ...
We've broken our mirrors (Alt: We broke our mirrors)
Sunday morning is everyday for all I care ...
And I'm not scared
Light my candles, in a daze
'Cause I've found god
Hey, hey hey (x4)