One night, I fell in love and I took a bus home, filled with mangy people
Who all looked mentally deprived, depraved, and they all smelled like nanny goats, but I didn't care
Because I had fallen in love and was dizzy with it.
I think it was cold, but I didn't care if I caught triple pneumonia, my lungs hardening
With so much scar tissue that I wouldn't be able to breathe. I couldn't breathe anyway.
I was holding my breath, I was so much in love, and I turned a lovely blue,
Although I don't know if it was from holding my breath or from being cold
Or being so very, very much in love.
At home, I took a bath to try to get it off of me, then a shower.
Then I started praying to help me fall out of love, but soon found myself praying to always,
Always feel that giddy. Praying that the object of my affection, my affliction
Bite his tongue again and again, then have his right ear ring and think of me.
Then I prayed that he'd trip and fall down in public and think of me,
Being very, very glad I was not there to see it.
Then I went to bed and I couldn't sleep because I was so very much in love,
So I got up and drank a fifth of gin and smoked a million cigarettes
And thought about all the dead people I knew to make me drowsy, but that didn't work
So I watched the most beautiful movie on TV about [bad word] during World War II
And I took a thousand Alka-Seltzers,  then I went to sleep and dreamed I was on that bus again,
And despite the heat wave, all the people riding were smiling and trying to give me their seats,
And quoting Descartes, and they all smelled like lilacs and laundromats.
And when I woke up, I realized I was still in love...
But not as much.