I know what my people are thinking tonight
As home through the shadows they wander
Ev'ryone smiling in secret delight
They stare at the castle and ponder
Whenever the wind blows this way
You can almost hear ev'ryone say

I wonder what the King is doing tonight
What merriment is the King pursuing tonight
The candles at the court, they never burn'd as bright
I wonder what the King is up to tonight
How goes the final hour, as he sees the bridal bower
Being legally and regally prepared
Well, I'll tell you what the King is doing tonight
He's scared! He's scared!

You mean that a King who fought a dragon
Whack'd him in two and fix'd his wagon
Goes to be wed in terror and distress?
     Yes!
warrior who's so calm in battle
Even his armor doesn't rattle
Faces a woman petrified with fright?
     Right!
You mean that appalling clamoring
That sounds like a blacksmith hammering
Is merely the banging of his royal knees?
     Please!

You wonder what the King is wishing tonight
He's wishing he were in Scotland fishing tonight
What occupies his time while waiting for the bride?
He's searching high and low for some place to hide
And oh, the expectation, the sublime anticipation
He must feel about the wedding night [bad word] 

Well, I'll tell you what the King is feeling tonight
He's numb! He shakes!
He quails! He quakes!
Oh, that's what the King is doing.. tonight!