MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS
— [bad word] diamandia

This morning it occured to me,
I might not look quite like a natural blonde,
and I can't help but feel conned.
The picture on the package,
showed a model with no baggage,
Promising wild  and marriage,
With a big colour-chart wand.

This morning it occured to me,
I never will quite have a supermodel's legs, (Never in a million years)
Unless I cut each one in half;
 [bad word] half an octopus, the two [bad word] synonymous,
with cocaine glamour, riches, beauty and crack.

I took a trip to the national gallery for,
there was something more refreshing in [bad word] saw.

My supermodel's legs think they were plucked,
from [bad word] world,
My supermodel's legs look pretty [bad word] 
on a 5 foot 4 girl.

Women, men, and in-betweens,
Why don't you just stop dieting?
Go bake, eat cake, go cheer, drink beer,
Worrying is boring;

If people said eat loads of cake, 
you wouldn't want much anyway,
and then you'll want to stuff your face,
and look like King Henry the 8th.

Present, we're told off every day, for living our lives the wrong [bad word] way,
"Suck my left one," 's what I say, If I want six coffees a day.

Women, men, and in-betweens,
Why don't you just stop dieting?
Go bake, eat cake, go cheer, drink beer,
Worrying is boring me;

Oh, I get more turned on,
by pink cupcakes than heroine,
Not rock and roll,
I'm much more Mary Poppins.

Oh, supermodel's legs,
They never held up much weight in my world,
Oh, supermodel's legs,
Cos women should be women,
Girls should be allowed to be girls.

Too right.