Well, I'm a jitterbug boy
by the shoe-shine
resting on my laurels
and my Hardys too
life of Riley on a swing shift
gears follow my drift
Once upon a time I was
in show-biz too

I seen the Brooklyn Dodgers
playin at Ebbets Field
seen the Kentucky Derby too
it's fast women, slow horses, I'm reliable sources
and I'm holding up a lamp post
if you want to know
I seen the Wabash Cannonball,
buddy, I've done it all

beause I slept with the lions
and Marilyn Monroe
had breakfast in the eye
of a hurricane
fought Rocky Marciano,
played Minnesota Fats
burned hundred-dollar bills,

I eaten Mulligan stew
got [bad word] with Louis Armstrong
what's that old song?
I taught Mickey Mantle
everything that he knows

and so you ask me
what I'm doing here
holding up a lamp post
flippin this quarter,
trying to make up my mind
and if it's heads I'll go to
Tennessee, and tails I'll buy a drink
if it lands on the edge
I'll keep talking to you