Flim:
Well, lookie what we got here, brother of mine, it’s the same in every town
Ponies with thirsty throats, dry tongues, and not a drop of cider to be found
Maybe they’re not aware that there’s really no need for this teary despair
Flam:
That the key that they need to solve the sad cider shortage you and I will share
Flim & Flam:
Well you’ve got opportunity In this [bad word] Flam:
He’s Flim
Flim:
He’s Flam
Flim & Flam:
We’re the world famous Flim Flam brothers
Traveling salesponies nonpareil
Pinkie Pie:
Non-pa what?
Flim:
Nonpareil, and that’s exactly the reason why, you see
No pony else in this whole place will give you such a chance to be where you need to be
And that’s a new world, with tons of cider
Fresh squeezed and ready for drinking
Flam:
More cider than you can drink in all your days of thinking
Rainbow Dash:
I doubt that.
Flim & Flam:
So take this opportunity
Flim, Flam & Crowd
In this [bad word] Flam:
He’s Flim
Flim:
He’s Flam
Flim & Flam:
We’re the world famous Flim Flam brothers
Traveling salesponies nonpareil
Flim:
I suppose by now you’re wondering ’bout our peculiar mode of transport
Flam:
I say, our mode of [bad word] Flim:
And I suppose by now you’re wondering, where is this promised cider?
Flam:
Any horse can make a claim and any pony can do the same
Flim:
But my brother and I have something most unique and superb Unseen at any time in this great new world
Flim & Flam:
And that’s opportunity
Flim:
Folks, the one and only, the biggest and the best
Flam:
The unbelievable
Flim:
Unimpeachable
Flam:
Indispensable
Flim:
I can’t believe-able
Flim & Flam:
Flim Flam brothers’ Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000
Flam:
What d’you say, sister?
Crowd:
Oh, we got opportunity In this [bad word] Please Flim, please Flam, help us out of this jam With the Flim Flam brothers’ Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000
Flim:
Young filly, I would be ever so honored if you might see fit to let my brother and I borrow some of your delicious, and might I add spell-bindingly fragrant apples for our little demonstration here?
Applejack:
Uh, sure, I guess.
Crowd:
Opportunity, in [bad word] Flam:
Ready Flim?
Flim:
Ready Flam
Flim & Flam:
Let’s bing-bang zam!
Flam:
And show these thirsty ponies a world of delectable cider!
Crowd:
Cider, cider, cider, cider… [continues until Granny Smith [bad word] 
Flim:
Watch closely my friends!
Flam:
The fun begins!
Flim:
Now, here’s where the magic happens, right here in this heaving roiling cider press boiling guts of the very machine, those apples plucked fresh are right now as we speak being turned into grade-top-notch five-star blow-your-horses-off one-of-a-kind cider!
Flam:
Feel free to take a sneak peek!
Granny Smith Now wait, you fellers, hold it! You went and over-sold it! I guarantee that what you have there [bad word] For the very most important ingredient Can’t be added or done expedient And it’s quality, friends, Apple Acre’s quality and care!
Flim:
Well Granny, I’m glad you brought that up, my dear, I say I’m glad you brought that up You see that we are very picky when [bad word] to cider if you’ll kindly try a cup
Flam:
Yes, sir, yes ma’am this great machine, it’s just the very best So whaddaya say then, Apples Care to step into the modern world And put the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 to the test?
Crowd:
Cider, cider, cider, cider… [continues until Flim and Flam begin singing]
Flim:
What do you think, folks? Do you see what the Apples can’t? I see it clear as day! I knowshe does! So does he! C’mon Ponyville, you know what I’m talking about!
Flim & Flam:
We’re saying you’ve got
Flim, Flam & Crowd
Opportunity In this [bad word] He’s Flim, he’s Flam We’re the world famous Flim Flam