This is my very own disease

wake up drenched in fear

pounding of my brain

might explode in time

this cold chill makes me tremble

could this be my life or

is he just teasing me

cannot close my eyes

will the reaper be waiting

this my own disease

burn it at both ends

what can i expect

twisted from the stress

validating these voices

this my very own disease

be that as it may

take it for granted

and abuse ourselves and still

i am constantly fractured

as i sit here fading
 [bad word] to fantasy

keeps the days replacing

my denial [bad word] 
this is my very own disease

caused by my neglect

this [bad word] full circle

lost in my regret

now don't be surprised when i tell myself

i told you so

just give my fear a name

bent, cracked, numb, [bad word]  slave

dreams that leave a stain

can't escape such impressions

this is my very own disease

i told you so