I've got bad news baby, 
And you're the first to know 
Yes I've got bad news baby, 
And you're the first to know 
Well I discovered this morning that my wig is about to blow 

Well I've been rocking on my feet 
Ad I've been talking all out of my head 
Well, well I've been rocking on my feet 
And I've been talking all out of my head 
And when I get through talking, I can't remember a thing I've said 

Now I used to be a sharpie 
All dressed in the latest style 
But now I'm walking down Broadway 
Wearing nothing but a smile 
I see all kinds of little men 
Although they're never there 
I tried to push a subway train 
And poured whiskey in my hair 
I'm a gal who blew a fuse, I've got those blowtop blues 

Last night I was five feet tall, Today I'm eight feet ten 
Every time I fall downstairs, I float right up again 
When somebody turned the lights on me it like to drove me blind 
I woke up this morning in Bellevue but I've left my mind behind 
I'm a gal you can't excuse, 'cause I've got those blowtop blues 

Well I got high last night, and I took my man to his wife's front door 
Yes, yes I got juiced last night and I took my man to his wife's front door 
She was a 45-packin' mama, and I ain't goin' to try that no more!