On a dark desert highway
 Cool wind in my hair
 Warm smell of colitas
 Rising up through the air
 Up ahead in the distance
 I saw the shimmering light
 My head grew heavy
 And my sight grew dim
 I had to stop for the night

 There she stood in the doorway
 I heard the mission bell
 And I was thinking to myself:
 This could be Heaven or
 This could be [bad word]  Then she lit up a candle
 And she showed me the way
 There were voices down the corridor
 Thought I heard them say

 [bad word] to the Hotel California
 Such a lovely place
 Such a lovely place
 Such a lovely face
 There's plenty of rooms in the Hotel
 California
 Any time of year
 (Any time of year)
 You can find them here

 Her mind is Tiffany-twisted
 She's got the Mercedes Benz
 She's got a lot of pretty, pretty boys
 That she calls friends
 How they dance in the courtyard
 Sweet summer sweat
 Some dance to remember
 Some dance to forget

 So I called up the captain
 "Please, bring me my wine"
 He said, "We haven't had that spirit here
 since 1969".
 And still those voices
 Are calling from far away
 Wake you up in the middle of the night
 Just to hear them say

 [bad word] to the Hotel California
 Such a lovely place
 Such a lovely place
 Such a lovely face
 They're livin' it up
 At the Hotel California
 What a nice surprise
 (What a nice surprise)
 Bring your alibis

 Mirrors on the ceiling
 The pink champagne on ice
 And she said "We are all just prisoners here
 Of our own device".
 And in the master's chambers
 They gathered for the feast
 They stab it with their steely knives
 But they just can't kill the beast

 Last thing I remember
 I [bad word] for the door
 And I had to find the passage back
 To the place I was before
 "Relax," said the night man
 "We are programmed to receive
 You can checkout any time you like
 But you can never leave!"