Verse 1

Now I been datin this girl named Katie, she hot as [bad word] And her body crazy, [bad word] shaven and it dont smell

And I don't fall for chickens
But this one a little different
Body sickening,
plus she really good at making breaded chicken

got me thinkin she the one man
even fully clothed, shawty really fun man
get a lotta hos, but none of [bad word] close
I swear this the most that I've felt so [bad word] exposedddd

oh yeah there's one more thing
and I know this [bad word] gonna sound insane
but I still haven't hit it
I admit it, I wish I was kidding

Never been up inside before
Because shes only [bad word] one guy before
and though I really wanna boink this [bad word] she ma sweetie 3.14

so I'm stayin patient, and [bad word] 
and now ma heart is sorta racing
cuz she said tonight will be the night we do some fornicating
 [bad word] yeah, I'm down, i'm bout to go all out
I'm gonna pound that crazy, like an elaborate black man handshake

But on the way to crib, we pass this kid,
and he seem to know who Katie is
So I say "who this" and she say [bad word]  this is my ex boyfriend Jim"
 [bad word] 1

and I ain't usually the one to be the jealous type
but as I'm lookin at this dude I can't believe my eyes
cuz he's the best looking guy that I've seen in my whole life

He's got the thickest head of hair, chiseled jaw, an egregious bod
Man this the closest thing I've seen to a Grecian god
And now I'm lookin at ma chick, cuz his [bad word] s been inside her rawww

Awww [bad word] 
Verse 2

Man this is crazy
I can't believe this guy used to [bad word] ma lady
I bet he left that [bad word] ravaged like Haiti

Katie's huggin and squeezing his shoulder blades
And I'm buggin and queasy, this aint okay

And then they say, "let's get drinks" so I say okay
Even though I was about to get laid!

Man this [bad word] look like [bad word] wit a lil Hugh Jackman
In other words, he's so [bad word] attractive
So [bad word] tan he gotta have a little black in him

now I'm in the back wit him, sippin on some yak wit him
And he payin for it all, he investment bankin...
I'm acting, like i ain't distracted
but I'm reenacting him and Katie bangin

and now I'm feelin [bad word]  so I go and take a [bad word] mid stream, I look left and guess who it is

and I had to see, and I was mad discrete
and I got on my toes and I took a little peek

oh my god becky, look at that [bad word]  [bad word] 2

And I ain't usually the one to be the jealous type
But as I'm lookin at his [bad word]  I cant believe me eyes
Because he's got the biggest [bad word] that I've seen in my whole life
And now I'm starin at this dude's soft [bad word] with a lotta hate
Because the [bad word] is plus 8 like Jon and Kate
And I don't know if I can date ma girl after tonighttttt

Aw [bad word] 
Verse 3

I don't know what to do
dude's [bad word] is really huge
I didn't realize a [bad word] could be so smooth

I know she's missin that
My [bad word] isn't that
I'm lookin closer I think that his [bad word] has abs

Six pack on a [bad word] Now what the [bad word] is that
It's so long and thick
It's like a punching bag

I'm sayin it's so shaven, head is amazing
Got ma [bad word] looking like a raisin
Skin tone insane, man he's hung like saddam hussain, its craazzy

What the [bad word] should I do?
He [bad word] s Chris [bad word]  and mine's a drive [bad word] ...

I think it's time to
Tell Katie ma goodbyes
Cuz I simply can't survive
After seeing what was in between his thighs

So I tell her
 [bad word] 3

that this dude's gotta [bad word] that I [bad word] I had to move ma neck to see it end to end
I mean the physics of his [bad word] just don't make any sense