[spoken:]
- JUDGE TURPIN: “I have news for you, my friend. In order to shield her from the evils of this world, I have decided to marry my dear Johanna.”
- BEADLE BAMFORD: “Oh, sir! Happy news indeed!”
- JUDGE TURPIN: “Strangely. When I offered myself to her, she showed a certain... reluctance.”

- BEADLE BAMFORD:
Excuse me, my lord
May I request, my lord
Permission, my lord, to speak
Forgive me if I suggest, my lord
You're looking less than your best, my lord
There's powder upon your vest, my lord
And stubble upon your cheek
And ladies, my lord, are weak

[spoken:]
- JUDGE TURPIN: “Stubble, you say? …Perhaps I am a little over-hasty in the mornings.”

- BEADLE BAMFORD:
Fret not though, my lord
I know a place, my lord
barber, my lord, of skill
Thus armed with a shaven face, my lord
Some eau de cologne to brace, my lord
And musk to enhance the chase, my lord
You'll dazzle the girl until…

- JUDGE TURPIN: "Until?”
- BEADLE BAMFORD: She bows to your every will

[spoken:]
- JUDGE TURPIN: “barber? Take me to him.”