Oh I had  with Max but it was [bad word] 
And he has just knocked me off my legs 
Cos he had  with his ex 
I went to bed with Fred - It was so sad 
Cos all I had from Mister Fred 
He got my dreams all wet 
So I had  on the phone 
It went on and on and on 
But it shakes me on the bone now that I'm alone 
Don't need no Willy no Fred no Max 
Just Mambo No [bad word] 

It's Mambo Number [bad word] 
It's Mambo Number [bad word] 
Touch me baby 
Mambo Number [bad word] 
Mambo Number [bad word] 

I had some fun with Dr [bad word] 
He showed me a new trick 
But babe he made me sick 
He always came to quick 
Checked it out with Fritz 
Man he was a blitz 
I know how that fits - his wife had seven kids 
I went with Howard - the coward 
But we got in a jam 
Cos he didn't give a [bad word] 
He was scared of Uncle Sam 
So Fred go to bed and Max grab your ex 
I'll take Mambo No [bad word] 

It's Mambo Number [bad word] 
It's Mambo Number [bad word] 
Touch me baby 
Mambo Number [bad word] 
Mambo Number [bad word] 

I don't wanna tango 
No cha cha cha no twist 
And I don't wanna samba and fandango 
I just want to be kissed 
Oh I don't wanna do the bossa nova 
No jitterbug with Max 
The only thing that gets me off the sofa 
Is Mambo No [bad word] 

It's Mambo Number [bad word] 
It's Mambo Number [bad word] 
Touch me baby 
Mambo Number [bad word] 
Mambo Number [bad word] 

It's Mambo Number [bad word] 
It's Mambo Number [bad word]