So, ya wanna be a hero, kid?
Well, whoop-de-do!
I have been around the block before
With blockheads just like you

Each and ev'ryone a disappointment
Pain for which there ain't no ointment
So much for excuses
Though a kid of Zeus is
Asking me to jump into the fray
My answer is two words -
O.K.
You win
Oh gods
Oy vay!

I'd given up hope that someone [bad word] along
fellow who'd ring the bell for once
Not the gong
The kind who wins trophies
Won't settle for low fees
At least semi-pro fees
But no - I get the greenhorn

I've been out to pasture pal, my ambition gone
Content to spend lazy days and to graze my lawn
But you need an advisor
satyr, but wiser
good merchandiser
And oohh!
There goes my ulcer!

I'm down to one last hope
And I hope it's you
Though, kid, you're not exactly
[bad word] [bad word] I've trained enough turkeys
Who never came through
You're my one last hope
So you'll have to do

Demigods have faced the odds
And ended up a mockery
Don't believe the stories
That you read on all the crockery

To be a [bad word] hero, kid, is a dying art
Like painting a masterpiece, it's a work of heart
It takes more than [bad word] down to what's in you
You have to continue to grow
Now that's more like it!

I'm down to one last shoot
And my last high note
Before that blasted Underworld
Gets my goat
My dreams are on you, kid
Go make [bad word] [bad word] Climb that uphil slope
Keep pushing that envelope
You're my one last hope
And, kid, it's up to you