All: N-O-M-A-F-I-Oh baby!

Middle Bear: [bad word]  [bad word]  generous friends
Days and weeks and tokens to spend
We're just regular business men
All: Just you and me an' Ted E. Bear

Middle Bear: Ted E. Bear's is oodles of fun
Slots and sandwiches and poker and guns
And look: no mobsters--nary a one
All: With you and me an' Ted E. Bear.

Middle Bear: Not mafia, no!
Left Bear: No mafia, mugs
Middle Bear: We're mafia-free!
Right Bear: No mafia here.
Left Bear: "What mafia, please!
All: No shady leaves upon the family tree.

Middle Bear: J. Edgar Hoover always insists
Organized crime just doesn't exist
Q.E.D. they're not in our midst
All: Say Edgar, me, an' Ted E. Bear

Middle Bear: No goons, no droppers, no grifters, no thugs
No dips, no clippers, no chippies, no lugs
No button-men packing gats loaded with slugs
All: It's you and me an' Ted E. Bear!

Middle Bear: No mafia here
Left Bear: What mafia, please!
Middle Bear: We're mafia-free!
Right Bear: No mafia here
Left Bear: No mafia, mugs
All: Just doin' business legitimately!