I'm the last splash

I was at a standstill, [bad word] 
But the air was still
And needed some shaking
And my voice was cracking, [bad word] 
I wanted to be your dear
I was at a standstill
Needed something to fulfill
And doubts about us
Escaped my lips, [bad word] 
I wanted to distill you

You brought me that book in leather cover pages
I opened it in the evening, it's a diary of ages
You brought me that book in leather cover pages
I opened it in the evening, it's a diary of ages

Just like I got into your soul
With undue familiarity
Burrow into with lots of noise
And made dirty footmarks
Just like I got into your soul
With undue familiarity
Just like I'd taken cherished stuff
And left forever

But that's so strange cause you gave it to me
I shouldn't feel guilty, it wasn't my request
But that's so strange cause you gave it to me
I shouldn't feel guilty, it's not [bad word] request

And needed some shaking
And my voice was cracking, [bad word] 
I wanted to be your dear
And doubts about us
Escaped my lips, [bad word] 
I wanted to distill you