Please mister, don't you touch me tomato
  No, don't touch me tomato
  Touch me on me pumpkin, potato
  For goodness' sake, don't touch me tomato
  
  Touch me this, touch me that
  Touch me everything I got
  Touch me plum, me apples too
  But here's one thing you just can't do
  
  All you do is feel up, feel up
  Ain't you tired of feel up, feel up
  All you do is squeeze up, squeeze up
  Ain't you tired of squeeze up, squeeze up
  
  Mister, take advice from me
  The more you look is the less you'll see
  But if you just must have your way
  Double the price you'll have to pay
  
  Oh, you're hard like a coconut
  But nuts, oh nuts, are nothing but ?
  Make up your mind, man, what is what
  
  All you do is feel up, feel up
  Ain't you tired of feel up, feel up
  All you do is squeeze up, squeeze up
  Ain't you tired of squeeze up, squeeze up