Kidnap Your Boyfriend  [bad word] I was just thinking i really like you and I was just thinking I really like you I was just thinking if i kidnap your boyfriend could i be your boyfriend? could i be your boyfriend? 

Verse 1 
i've gotta time it right i've gotta plan it through 
you're a stick of dynamite hope that i can handle you 
you're a whole new animal they couldn't hold a candle to 
so i demand a candid answer, what's a man to do? 
could pay a camera crew get an editor set up in his kitchen with the video and kid and put his [bad word] on catch a predator 
call his creditor 
tell em he's in heavy debt and with fed on red alert I plant a care package, a bear trap with the teeth padded 
and when he grabs it, then i beat it like brear rabbit 
or i could lock him in the liquor cabinet 
drinking, thinking of you, sad until he kicks the habit 
and if he gets lovey dovey 
I'll take a kindergarten keep him in the cubby 
when we leave for winter break and someone gets the pet i'm gonna pawn him off on little betty like he was a guppy 

Verse 2 
It's a minute to midnight and 
that's my cue pull up in my big white van 
beckon him with my charisma 
chucking snickers at him like it's his Bar mitzvah 
and if someone heard the racket better bet i'm gonna bag him in a burlap sack dude's whack, he lacks the X Factor (bookmark boy) i can be the next chapter/ (3 rising) what do i do for the women who tell me they want me? that when i got over the one who steadily haunts me if i get over the one then I'll be ready to party then i'll be looking at blondie, on me get up and calmly walk away it's pretty pathetic I get it, but not today you wanted to play you want me to act tough? spend every dime but i won't go [bad word] (3) I said to be easy could you please back up all these Jenga beezies they just don't stack up 

Verse 3 
if i'm too blunt, i can mask it if time's a blunt, i can pass it i'd rather pass it with a passenger shotgun the messenger call off the massacre your dude is cool, i wish i didn't have to mess with him to tell the [bad word]  i want the very second best for him i'm positive i'm not pessimist i'm not jumping, i'm just [bad word] off the precipice if I deafen to the definition and i never getcha god i betcha i'll be better cause i metcha but be i'm missing always waiting for day you'll be available 
you keep on stating who you're dating ain't debatable but baby maybe we could pick up when this [bad word] ends my sixth sense says we're clicking like we're bic pens i don't wanna read the writing on the wall if it's only gonna end like annie hall