Verse 1 
You couldn't see a lot 
With our crotches under froth 
On timer-jets the trouble started when the bubbles stopped 
Now if you wanted you could see each little boy wand 
Bobbing there as clear as little goldfish in a coi pond 
And I was hot and [bad word] 
As dry as styrofoam 
I needed to escape the tub like Pauly from the Biodome 
I know no boychik's poifect 
But I made my lifetime's choice 
and hoisted myself out of the moistness 
slowly which exposed my joystick 
And Pauly must have seen it 
plain as I'm waving at you 
Because I stood there dripping, naked like the David statue 
Pauly I've gotta ask you 
Because I'm just not psychic 
If my [bad word] was a facebook post 
I wonder if you'd like it 
 [bad word]  
All my life 
I prayed for a friend like you 
And I wish I could glance at your linus too 
But you wore a [bad word] speedo, you [bad word] 

Verse 2 
I can't express just what it's meant to me 
to have my genitals vetted by a celebrity 
with Paulie's pedigree 
I'm talking Breeder's Cup 
If Charlie sheen had seen my seen peen it wouldn't mean as much 
He doesn't have the Weasel's touch 
I'm not some stupid groupie 
this dude was in Biodome, Encino Man, a Goofie movie 
and probably other stuff 
I just think it's [bad word] nuts 
That mister Pauly Shore himself was gazing at my buttercups 
I dreamed to be discovered 
I hope the wait is over 
Don't know if this is it 
But either way it's great exposure 
And I can't blow this chance 
To have a bro romance 
I hope he picks the [bad word] the dangles from my lowest branch 
I''l pick the slowest dance 
I just can't handle this 
Perhaps I should expect it at a men's spa in Los Angeles 
 [bad word]  
I wish I could see your pud too 
But I'd twitpic your dillsnick, it's [bad word]