i'm sitting in a public space, coffee shop, shopping mall, park bench, whatever and no one else knows what's going on in my head, i see them walk by and there is no reaction, traumatized by my dreams, my wishes, my hopes for their future, or lack there of. there i am sitting, anywhere and i'm thinking these thoughts. and i do wonder why i think this way. what is it about me? am i alone in these realizations? why am i thinking this way? why? [bad word]  am i alone? perhaps there are others, sitting where ever they are, public space, coffee shop, shopping mall, park bench, whatever, and they too are thinking this way. why? is it because we have a problem, or is it because they have a problem? is it because we are horrified by them? yes. this isn't about a 'we'. this isn't about me. it's about them. the great writhing mass. they traumatize me. the sickness and the [bad word] from them. i see it and it disgusts me. it should disgust you too. maybe i am alone. it should disgust us all. the disgust should be evident, the disgust should be obvious and something should be done about it. but the days pass and all this is ignored. they ignore it as if they don't even see it. they ignore and carry on the way they do. and i wonder if they have even one redeeming aspect and i conclude no. now i realize that within them is this dark seed, this inherent flaw, and i hate them. what can i do? what options are there? i'm alone against them. and yet, i want to leap onto them and cut it out, slash into them and draw out that which makes them so terrible. dig into their [bad word] up flesh and rip it out. i want to expose it to the light and hope that this relieves my own pain. but i hold back and [bad word] for control because somehow i've convinced myself that what i want to do to them is somehow wrong.