I [bad word] a hundred miles without stopping for rest.
I can stay under water for 5 minutes on a single breath.
When I focus my mind I always reach my goal,
but there’s one thing I cannot control…

 [bad word] too fast…
 [bad word] too fast…
couple strokes and my erection is a thing of the past.

 [bad word] too fast…
 [bad word] too fast…
Sometimes it’s even game over before I take off my pants.

I’ve read all the articles and I’ve tried every trick.
Thinking of sports or of naked Cathy Bates in About Schmidt.
If the girl’s on top sometimes I’ll last a minute or two,
but if we doggy-style oh man I’m screwed…

 [bad word] too fast…
 [bad word] too fast…
I carry a spare pair of underwear in case a girl sits on my lap.

 [bad word] too fast…
 [bad word] too fast…
I swear I’ll even shoot my load if a fly lands on my shaft.

Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh….
Ooohh. Damnit.