Oh... 
you can do it a sheep if you lead it astray, 
or with a chicken, just part of the way 
With a lion if you have that much pride 
or with an elephant, if you're rather wide. 
You can with a grizzly if you give him a hug 
or with a bullfrog if you give him a bug 
with a giraffe you can stand on a chair, 
but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all 

The hedgehog can never be buggered at all, 
buggered at all, buggered at all x2 

you can do it with a hen cos an egg'll fit in 
or with a worm if you're pointy and thin 
With a snake if you're incredibly long 
with a gorilla if you're really that strong 
with a boa constrictor if he's your main squeeze 
with a big German Shepherd if you don't mind the fleas 
You can with a snail, if you slow to a crawl 
but the Hedgehog can never be buggered at all 

You can do it With a cow if you're feeling in udder disgrace 
With an alligator if you like toothy grins on your face 
With a bat if you're gifted with wings 
with a magpie if you like shiny things 
With a cheetah if you love rather fast 
donkey if you like a good old kick in the [bad word] ... 
With an octopus if suction is your game 
but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all