HENRY ARMITAGE: Shoggoth on the roof. Sounds crazy ... no, certifiably insane! But here in our little village of Arkham, Massachusetts, you might say every one of us has a Shoggoth on the roof, and I'm not speaking metaphorically. It's not easy having a malevolent shapeless monster like that hanging over your head, but there it is. Arkham is the home of many strange things; a big monster like that on such a pointy roof, you may ask how does it stay up there, if it's so difficult? That, I can tell you in one word ... Tentacles!

[the [bad word] begins singing]
Tentacles, tentacles! Tentacles!
Tentacles, tentacles! Tentacles!

HENRY ARMITAGE: Here in Arkham, tentacles get into everything eventually! Changeless legend-haunted Arkham, where the clustering gambrel roofs sway and sag over attics. Where witches hid from the King's men in the dark olden days of the province. Well, the king is gone, but the witches are still here ... and the cultists, and the monsters, and regular folks just trying not to notice. We try not to think about the scariest one of all. The gigantic half-dragon half-octopus half-humanoid Great Old One himself, Cthulu! Waiting to return from his city beneath the sea!

[Henry begins singing]
Who day and night
Must slumber in R'lyeh
Wave his tentacles
Having nasty dreams
And who has the might
As master of R'lyeh
To drive humanity insane?

[the [bad word] joins in]
Cthulu, Cthulu! Tentacles!
Cthulu, Cthulu! Tentacles!

[Henry stops singing and the [bad word] continues]
Who must bow and kneel and scrape and slave all day
To raise R'lyeh, Cthulu's way
Who must live in ignorance until the day
They find they've read too many nasty books
The cultists, the cultists! Tentacles!
The cultists, the cultists! Tentacles!
That night I started growing gills and swimming in the sea
And soon I'll know the wonder of the sun-ken city
The Deep Ones, the Deep Ones! Tentacles!
The Deep Ones, the Deep Ones! Tentacles!
Who's always last to know, who fills the air with cries?
Whose sanity is blasted, and then who usually dies?
The victims, the victims! Tentacles!
The victims, the victims! Tentacles!

HENRY ARMITAGE: We have the shoe factory, and the brickworks, and a wonderful insane asylum we're all mighty proud of. But the heart of the town is its Miskatonic University. It may not be the biggest school in New England, but there's no finer place in the world to study medieval metaphysics. It's my honor to be its head librarian ... Y'see, many folks from the University, as you walk through Arkham streets and in our [bad word]  we always have had some special types as well. For instance, Herbert West, the mad scientist.
HERBERT WEST: Those small-minded doctors have needlessly and irrationally delayed me in supremely great work. The reanimation of dead tissue was within my grasp!
ALLEN HALSEY: Herbert, your perverse experiments are the vagary of a demented maniac and cannot be allowed to continue. Your request for the use of human cadavers [bad word] denied!
HERBERT WEST: Ha ha, I warn you Doctor Halsey, you'll regret this decision!
HENRY ARMITAGE: And Randolph Carter, the writer with the weird dreams who keeps showing up everywhere ...
RANDOLPH CARTER: I repeat to you, gentlemen, that your inquisition is [bad word]  Question me forever if you want, I do not know what has [bad word] of Harley Warren!
WOMAN: Mister Carter, there's a telephone call for you ...
HENRY ARMITAGE: And Obed Marsh, the cursed old man from nearby Innsmouth ...
OBED MARSH: What are ye lookin' at?! What, you think I'm ugly?! Izzat it? I'll be showing ye ugly!

[the [bad word] begins singing]
Die die die, die! Die die die, die!
Die die die die, die die die die die!
Die die die, die! Die die die, die