I wish I had an evil twin,
 [bad word] round doing people in.
  I wish I had a very bad
and evil twin to do my will,
to cull and conquer, cut and kill,
just like I would if I weren't good
  and if I knew where to begin.

Down and down he'd go:
how low, no one would know.
Sometimes the good life wears thin.
I wish I had an evil twin.

My evil twin would lie and steal,
and he would stink of  appeal.
All men would writhe beneath his scythe.
He'd send the pretty ones to me
and they would think that I was he.
I'd hurt them, and I'd go scot-free.
I'd get no blame and feel no shame,
cause evil's not my cup of tea.

Down and down he'd go:
how low, I would not need to know.
All my life there should have been
an evil twin.