Ben Franklin:
I’m big Ben Franklin and this shan't be pretty

Let me [bad word] you how we battle in the city of Philly

You couldn’t sell Rick James a bag of crack. You’re out of practice

My victory’s more certain than death or taxes

Fact is, you’re a hack, wack QVC joke

You peddle soap that cleans bird [bad word] from my windows

I’ll craft a lyrical coffin and then spit the nails in

Call me Arthur Miller son, cause it’s death of a salesman!

Billy Mays:

Hi, Billy Mays here with a special TV offer

Watch me [bad word] this bald, fat, foppish founding father

I’ll take my awesome auger and sow your Quaker oats

I’ll shoot your rhymes down like a regiment of red coats

I’m the lord of the pitch and leader in home sales

You’re just a lumpy pumpkin who invented the mail

Benny’s got kite 'n key, but you’re in for a shock

When I strike you with bolts from my lightning rod [bad word] #33;

Benjamin Franklin:

Stop! I protest these intolerable raps

It takes just one easy payment for me to whoop your [bad word] #33;

Cause I’m mint, I’m money!  I’m an educated gentleman

So join or die, Bill, cause it’s all about the Benjamin

Billy Mays:

But wait! There’s more...

(RIP BILLY MAYS: 1958 – 2009 “Lord of the Pitch”)

Announcer:

Is there anyone out there who could finish this battle? Anyone? Anyone...

Vince Offer:

I can. You following me camera guy? Cause it’s about to get furious

You’re gonna love my nuts until you’re bi-focal-curious

Your boy George chopped down trees. You couldn’t break a piece of balsa

Slap chop your face. Make a double chin salsa!

Your style is so broke, they call you Poor Richard

It’s bad enough I gotta see you every time I tip a stripper

Vince against a founding father is just too bad

Cause after this America's gonna lose a Dad!