Music and Lyrics by Maurissa Tancharoen and Jed Whedon
Performed by Maurissa Tancharoen

I WROTE ALL PENNY’S LINES AND HER SONG, YOU KNOW
I EVEN SANG HER PART UP ON THE DEMO
BUT WHEN IT’S TIME TO CAST THE SHOW
DID THEY WANT SOMEBODY YELLOW - [bad word] NO

NOBODY’S ASIAN IN THE MOVIES
NOBODY’S ASIAN ON TV
IF THERE IS PART THERE FOR US
IT’S THE GROUPIE IN THE [bad word] THAT’S ME

I BEGGED AND I PLEADED PLEASE DON’T PASS ME BY
THEY SAY, HEY GIVE US HAND
GO STAND IN THE BACK WITH THAT FAT GUY
MY ROLE, THOUGH BE IT BRIEF, AT LEAST
IT ISN’T VIET CONG, [bad word] RELIEF

NOBODY’S ASIAN IN THE MOVIES
NOBODY’S ASIAN ON TV
IF THERE IS PART THERE FOR US
IT’S NINJA, PHYSICIAN
OR GOOFY MATHEMATICIAN
OR GROUPIE IN THE [bad word] THAT’S ME

WHO DO THEY WANT BEFORE THEY WANT AN ASIAN?
MEXICAN
WHO DO THEY WANT BEFORE THEY WANT AN ASIAN?
BLACK
WHO DO THEY WANT BEFORE THEY WANT AN ASIAN?
PERSIAN, OR CAJUN, OR AN INDIAN
OR AN AMERICAN-INDIAN PLAYED BY MEXICAN
OR IF YOU’RE LUCKY SOMEONE ASIAN
LIKE ME

Jed:
But Maurissa, movies couldn’t even be made without Asians.
We need them to play the parts we’re not willing to.

Maurissa:
You’re right, Jed!

WITHOUT THE ASIANS IN THE MOVIES
WITHOUT THE ASIANS ON TV
WHO’PLAY THE GOOFY MATHEMATICIAN [bad word] TECHNICIAN
WISE OLD HEALER FROM JAPAN
SHORT BUT WEALTHY BUSINESSMAN
SELL KOREAN GROCERIES
DO YOUR LAUNDRY THANK YOU, PRREASE
WE’RE THE VICTIMS OF CRIME
WE’LL BE LOVING YOU LONG TIME
IF YOUR MOVIE IS BORE JUST
WATCH THE GROUPIE IN THE [bad word] THAT’S ME

Maurissa:
I guess my parents will be proud of me after all.

Jed:
What does your dad do again?

Maurissa:
Oh!  He’s a nerdy, funny scientist.