baby's born in 1987
Into a family of love and care
His Mummy treats him like a gift from heaven
His Daddy shows him how to style his hair

few years later it's a cold December
And Daddy needs to buy some milk and juice 'DAD'
I want a twix please... if you remember'
The final words wasted... if he only knewwww that

Dad [bad word] off with the cleaner
She wasn't even fit... you should've seen her
If she had big [bad word] and no moustache at worst
Dad would've never ran away cuz I'd of banged her first

Dad's [bad word] off with a refugee
Before his son had even learnt his ABC
Before his son had even learnt to climb a tree
And incase you hadn't noticed Dad that baby was ME!

DADDY I'll never see you
DADDY You'll never see me too...
DADDY You missed my birthday
And I miss you every Fathers Day

DADDY I want to see you
DADDY Do you want to see me too?
DADDY Are you okay?
So I guess this is Happy Fathers Day

I wonder if you even got my twix
You probably gave it to your Spanish [bad word] and them kids
Sorry if ya think I'm being racist
But I don't want my twix in their Spanish faces

Dad? Just wondering if you've ever felt someone else
Rip your heart out put it in the fire just to watch it melt
Cause that's how I feel, I hope [bad word] back
So I don't suffer from another snack attack

Cause Dad, when it feels like your heart's stopped beating
Some people turn [bad word] eating
I can laugh now, now that I'm fine but I was
Cramming pork pies into my mouth five at a time

Cheese strings and chicken wings
KFC and Burger Kings
Onion Rings
I was eating all them things

I had to go on Jerry Springer
Cuz I was trying to eat my sausage fingers

DADDY I'll never see you
DADDY You'll never see me too...
DADDY You missed my birthday
And I miss you every Fathers Day

DADDY I want to see you
DADDY Do you want to see me too?
DADDY Are you okay?
So I guess this is Happy Fathers Day