I'm not going to sit here and lie and list all the many ways
About how I will supposedly love you till the end of days
Because I think that we both know in twenty-eight and a half years' time
That I won't be yours and you probably won't be mine

But yesterday, today and probably tomorrow
This little one will find it hard to find sorrow
Yesterday, today and probably tomorrow

Middleton to Withington and Middleton and back
Is more than enough to make the average Middletonian crack
So I will stand outside the Travelodge and bite my tongue
Your best friends look me up and down and I'll write the song

Yesterday, today and probably tomorrow
This little one will find it hard to find sorrow
Yesterday, today and probably tomorrow

Will they be there on Tuesday [bad word] the bath and turning out the lights?
Will they be there on Thursday afternoons to [bad word] you home from Euston platform
With heart-shaped balloons? No

Yesterday, today and probably tomorrow