You know that I am called the Count
Because I really love to f**k
Sometimes I sit and f**k all day
Sometimes I get carried away

I f**k slowly, slowly, slowly getting faster
Once I've started f**king it's really hard to stop
Faster, faster. It is so exciting!
I could f**k forever, f**k until I drop

1! 2! 3! 4!
1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4
I love f**king
Whatever the amount!
1! 2! 3! 4!
1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4
That's the song of the Count!

I f**k the spiders on the wall… 
I f**k the cobwebs in the hall…
I f**k the candles on the shelf…
When I'm alone, I f**k myself!

I f**k slowly, slowly, slowly getting faster
Once I've started f**king it's really hard to stop
Faster, faster. It is so exciting!
I could f**k forever, f**k until I drop
1! 2! 3! 4!
1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4
I love f**king!
Whatever the amount!
1! 2! 3! 4!
1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4
That's the song of the Count!

…f**k.