Well, I've [bad word] 'em all from Coast to Coast...
Well you can talk about your lovers and your back door pimps.
You can talk about your hollywood [bad word] 

If you want to know the baddest mutha [bad word] in the world then I'm the greatest lover alive
Jackie Onassis was a snuff queen for me before she ever got rich.
And it would take a man a day and a half just to satisfy that [bad word] 

Why the Queen of England gave me the keys to the whole [bad word] Country of France
And it only took me 15 minutes to get into her pants.

Well, I've [bad word] 'em all from Coast to Coast, cause honey, that's my bag.

Fact, I'm the only guy in the world who can make Linda Lovelace Gag

doot doot doot duh...

Now it ain't that my [bad word] s so [bad word] big, it's just that I know how to use.
I'll never let no nickle-dime [bad word] ever get the chance to abuse it.
They can suck it for hours and hours on end, but I'll still be in control.
And I won't [bad word] 'til I wanna [bad word]  cause that's my jelly-roll.

Now they're ain't no woman, no match for me, I've had 'em try to wear me down.
I've [bad word] them barmaids, and bankclerks, I even [bad word] a circus clown.
Teachers and Lawyers doctors and more, them fat women sure are a drag,

I tell you I'm the only [bad word] in the world that can make Linda Lovelace gag.

Well, old Harry Reams fall apart at the seams when he saw me [bad word] that [bad word] 
She sucked my [bad word] and swallowed my nuts, and I still hollered for more.
She sucked my [bad word]  she sucked my toes, she's the suckinest [bad word] alive.
I made her call up two more [bad word]  and friend that at no jive.

She don't give me no [bad word] about being no big time lover.
Some movie star with a jag.
Cause you ain't [bad word] ..
If you can't get Linda lovelace to gag.

And don't talk about being no full-time lover, cause mister, that's my bag.

I'm the only [bad word] in the [bad word] world that can make Linda Lovelace gag.

doot doot doot