Get [bad word] by a [bad word] 
Destroy vital apparatus
Find a way into Android [bad word] [bad word] too fast on a pool of Propulsion-Gel

Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!
Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!

Play Hide'n'Seek with a turret
Stand in front of an Energy Pellet
Push your friend into toxic waste
Shoot a portal straight into outer-space

Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!
Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!
 [bad word] your face on a Hard-Light Bridge
Forget your boots and fall off the edge
Suffocate in toxic gas
Look at the operational end of the device

Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!
Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!

Fall out of a test-chamber
Get thrown down an incinerator
Consume a lot of bouncy-goo
"I wonder what's this red button do?"

Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!
Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!

Donate one or more of your vital organs
Fall into a pool of deadly toxins
Go into cryo-sleep when there's no more power
Get put into a potato and get eaten by a crow
Stand around a platform heading towards fire
Wait around for Half-Life 3!

They're the dumbest ways to die!
Dumbest ways to die!
Dumbest ways to die!
So many dumb...
So many dumb ways to die!