Well, I don't know why I came here tonight 
I got the feeling that something ain't right 
I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair 
And I'm wondering how I'll get down the stairs

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right 
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you 
Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you
And I'm wondering what is I should do

It's so hard to keep this smile from my face 
Lose control and I'm all over the place 
Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right 
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you 

Well, you started out with nothing 
And you're proud that you're a self-made man 
And your friends they all [bad word] 
Grab you on the back and say, "Please, please"

And I tried to make some sense of it all,
But I can see that it makes no sense at all.
Is it cool to go to sleep on the floor?
'Cause I don't think that I can take anymore.

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

Well, you started out with nothing 
And you're proud that you're a self-made man 
And your friends they [bad word] crawling
Slap you on the back and say, "Please, please"

Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you
Yes, I am stuck in the middle with you
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you
Oh, here I am

Don't know why I came here tonight 
I got the feeling that something ain't right 
I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair 
And I'm wondering how I'll get down the stairs

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right 
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you