Jonesy used to roam, stayed away from home,
He'd go out with the boys and leave his wifie all alone,
But when the town went dry,
Jones began to cry,
"With no cafes or cabarets, I know I'm going to die."
For weeks it had him worried, but now he's feeling [bad word] 
I heard him tell a friend of his while on the street today.
Say!

I never knew I had a wonderful wife until the town went dry.
I used to make excuses and go out to the club
And when I think of what I missed I know I've been a dub,
To keep her shape I thought my wife used all those girlish tricks.
Since I stayed home, I've found out she's a perfect thirty-six.
I never knew I had a wonderful wife until the town went dry.

I never knew I had a wonderful wife until the town went dry.
The way I spent my money on women was a crime,
I found that with my wife, I could have had a better time,
I'd sent her to the country and I'd always yell hooray.
But I saw her picture in a bathing suit the other day.
I never knew I had a wonderful wife
Until the town went dry.