Dumbledore died a pretty long while ago
But his followers mourn to this day
tragic event, we wish that he didn't go
Then we later found out that he was [bad word] 
Well I was [bad word] around outside the castle grounds
And I found the beloved man's grave
So to pay my respects I set some flowers out
And I water them in my own special way

I'm draining the lizard on a dead [bad word] wizard
There's a slight chance of rain for our headmaster today
I'm leaking the Schwartz upon the master of Hogwarts
And I'm [bad word] on Dumbledore's grave

Dumbledore's memory will be in our dreams
Well, we always knew that he was Number One
And though I'm washing those memories away in a stream
There are many good things that he's done
If your day was a drought he'd always help you out
With a golden shine from within
He [bad word] to your side at each catastro-pee
So you're safe from the danger urine

I'm draining the lizard on a dead [bad word] wizard
The chamber of secrets [bad word] a small leak today
I'm making an ocean with a magical potion
And I'm [bad word] on Dumbledore's grave

This act [bad word] seems so perfect and [bad word] 
And it feels so good to pour these feelings out
As he sits and decays I'm feeling pretty okay
Besides a shower's one thing he's gone too long without

From the land of the free to France where they say "oui, oui"
They say I'm doing something awful and wrong
But though a great flood of pee-ple might be [bad word] off at me
At least they're not getting [bad word] on

I'm draining the lizard on a dead [bad word] wizard
I'm speaking in Parseltongue to whip out the snake
I'm whizzing the wand to make a magical pond
And I'm [bad word] on Dumbledore's grave

I'm draining the lizard on a dead [bad word] wizard
I can hear Rowling bawling but I still won't behave
I'm baptizing the phoenix using my full petrenis
And I'm [bad word] on Dumbledore's grave

Everybody!

I'm draining the lizard on a dead [bad word] wizard
It's the first wand unleashed on him since his dying day
Though I'm merely a Muggle, I can summon a puddle

And incase you were pee-occupied and didn't hear me...
I'm [bad word] on Dumbledore's grave