don't go down to the woods today
don't go down to the woods today
their leader lives in a cave
with a snaggletooth
and a satellite phone
he'll bring those god damned chickens home
don't go down to the woods today
don't go down to the woods today
with beards and boxcutters too
those a-rabs gonna make
mincemeat of you!
don't go down to the woods today
don't go down to the woods today

don't go down to the mall today
it's all zombies anyway
glassy eyed they stare at the tube
believe any [bad word] [bad word] through
don't go down to the mall today
don't go down to the mall today

don't go out on the streets today
don't go out on the streets today
it's all bombs (explosion!) anyway
under a rock or in your ear
it's so delicious this fake fear
don't go out on the streets today
don't go out on the streets today
stay in your home
buy more stuff
scared sensless by this
  guff

oh children!

don't go down to the woods today
don't go down to the woods today

don't go down to the woods today
don't go down to the woods today