[Kankri unzips his pants, taking a hilariously long time of course, due to the length of said pants.]
KANKRI: It’s quite a shame that someone of my stature and level respect would have to stoop so low and cave into my primordial desires. Had there been a situation in which I could control it as I normally do, then I wouldn’t find myself in this particular situation.
KANKRI: At least I have the privilege of creating bubbles specifically limited to my own access so that I may take care of such shameful needs.
[There’s [bad word] of clothing as he pulls out his bulge and begins to stroke himself.]
KANKRI: [between slight moans and heavy breaths] Although, it is rather nice to have a sort of escape from my vow. All of these pent up emotions and hormones are beginning to eat away at my tolerance for public situations. It would be…unnecessary for me to take my ual [bad word] out on a poor individual would otherwise be seeking my advice.
KANKRI: [a bit [bad word]  he sighs] I really need to hurry this up. I know that it’s natural to want to take it slow and enjoy every bit [bad word] with the feeling of being so intimate with onself, there are those that are facing - and I do mean [bad word] facing - problematic situations and ordeals that they may not find themselves able to cope with, without of course causing issues for others.
[switch is flicked as he turns on a vibrator.]

KANKRI: [seeming a little more out of breath, and [bad word] to keep his voice level.] Ah. There we go..this will..certainly prove to help speed things along-
[He’s [bad word] by a loud sound, as his door was opened [bad word] 
CRONUS: Heya Chief, you won’t believe the pounding I put on-
[An awkward silence]
CRONUS: Kankri, are you-
KANKRI: [loudly and a little angry] Cronus I would have appreciated if you KNOCKED before entering! As you clearly can see I’m a little busy- What are you doing!?
[There is [bad word] of clothes and whatnot, and Cronus essentially has his hands on Kankri’s bulge and the vibrator at this point.]
CRONUS: I’m just giving my bro a little help, that’s all. [sarcastically] That is, assuming this isn’t too triggering or anything.
[The vibrater is turned off and pulled out, and Kankri makes a small whine in protest]
KANKRI: Cronus if you’re “helping” me, why are you- [He’s [bad word] by unzipping pants] Oh dear god you are not sticking that in me.
CRONUS: Relax, chief. I’ll be gentle. you and I both know you need this as badly as I do. And I mean, that’s what friends are for right? I get so many benefits from having you as a pal, so why can’t I give you some?
KANKRI: [reluctantly] Alright. I don’t think it would be fair to withhold any sort of pleasure from you, because even that is a known privilege that some don’t have. [sighs] As long as you are extremely careful, and that after the end of this still allow me the ability to walk, then I suppose there’s not too much damage done. [his voice changes to very stern and intimidating.]  But don’t tell a soul about this, are we clear?
CRONUS: My lips are sealed.
[The intercourse starts slow and gentle, and eventually ends up [bad word] quite rough. (the entire time the two of them are seemingly enjoying it) Kankri ends up climaxing before Cronus, and all activity stops momentarily.]
KANKRI: [his voice is tired and rather breathy] Oh my god- Cronus I’m terribly sorry for releasing too soon! You seem as though you aren’t nearly within the range of finishing yourself, and I wouldn’t mind terribly if you continued. I might find it a bit [bad word]  but I don’t wish to withhold you from enjoying yourself.
CRONUS: [strained voice] No need to tell me twice chief.
[ [bad word] [bad word] from Kankri, as resumes Cronus continues to [bad word] into him. Cronus eventually finishes. ]
CRONUS: Holy [bad word]  I can’t believe you let me do that.
KANKRI: Cronus you’d better keep your word. While I’m not usually subject to threats, I will not be held accountable for what happens to you if anything so much as slips out.