Oh Lord above sent His only son
To spread the word of God to everyone.
Jesus cured the lepers and He healed the lame,
But He left the bald men with their pain.

Oh mighty Lord I've lost what I had,
I've suffered the fate of my own Dad.
I looked in the hills, the valleys, everywhere,
But I can't see why you took my hair?

I'm losing my hair,
I'm losing my hair.
What was on my head
Is no longer there.
When you see the light,
It's my forehead's glare.
Oh, don't you care
That I'm losing my hair?!

I tried to pray and I tried to grieve,
I tried the wig and I tried the weave.
I tried the transplant and I tried the graft
But my hair is thinning fast.

Oh mighty Lord, why'd you take my hair?
Are you making a carpet for heaven's stairs
To warm the feet of the chosen souls?
But in the meantime, my head's getting cold!

I'm losing my hair,
I'm losing my hair.
What was on my head
Is no longer there.
When you see the light,
It's my forehead's glare.
Oh, don't you care
That I'm losing my hair?!

We are your children, and we are blessed,
But most of my hair is now on my chest.
In your own wisdom, you took it off my head,
Well couldn't you just strike me blind instead?

Oh Lord above, on Judgement day
Will you forgive me for my toupee?
And when I march through the gates of pearl
Can I have hair in your afterworld?

I'm losing my hair,
I'm losing my hair.
What was on my head
Is no longer there.
When you see the light,
It's my forehead's glare.
Oh, don't you care
That I'm losing my hair?!

I'm losing my hair, I'm losing my hair. But I know a lot of people out there losing their hair too. And I know, every night you pray to God, dontcha? (Yeah.) Yeah you do, dontcha? You pray to God to give you more hair. You wake up the next morning, you go in that shower, you look in that drain... and there's your hair. It ain't on your head no more.

But, you know, maybe your call's just not getting through. God's a busy man, and-and a lot of people try to get him on the intergalactic telephone. But, but maybe, maybe if we all pray together, we'll get God's phone to ring! Thank ya. So give me an Amen. (Amen.) Amen. [bad word] on, Amen. (Amen.) Amen. (Amen.) Oh yeah! The phone is ringing! The phone is ringing! God's picking it up, I think we might have woken him up, he might be a little bit [bad word]  But it doesn't matter, ‘cause we're going to tell him what we want, aren't we? (Yeah.) Aren't we? (Yeah.)

I need help for my scalp,
Oh give me help for my scalp!

Oh yeah! (Follicle, miracle...) I feel the powerful, the power of the Lord! It's in me! It's all around me! Th-this man, this man has split ends on the end of his head! Let those split ends be healed! (Follicle, miracle...)

Oh mighty Lord upon your throne
I gotta know do you use [bad word] 
Is your hair wavy? Is your hair blonde?
Is it curly, or is it gone?

Is to be bald to be divine
‘Cause all the monks have heads that shine?
If that's your way, then I don't care
I'd sell my soul to get more hair!

I'm losing my hair,
I'm losing my hair.
What was on my head
Is no longer there.
When you see the light
It's my forehead's glare.
Oh don't you care,
Hey you up there?