LIZ: Pop
ANNIE: Six
JUNE: Squish
HUNYAK: Uh uh
VELMA: Cicero
MONA: Lipschitz!

ANNOUNCER: And now the six merry murderesses of the Crookem
County Jail in their rendition of "The Cell Block Tango"

ALL:
He had [bad word] He had [bad word] He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it

VELMA: I betcha you would have done the same!

LIZ (Spoken):
You know how people have these little habits
That get you down
Like Bernie
Bernie liked to chew gum
No, not chew....POP!
So I came home this one day
And I am really irritated
And looking for a little sympathy
And there's Bernie layin' on the couch
Drinkin' a beer and chewin'
No, not chewin'....Poppin'
So, I said to him
I said, "You pop that gum one more time..."
And he did.
So I took the shotgun off the wall
And I fired two warning shots......into his head!

ANNIE (Spoken):
I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake city
About two years ago
And he told me he was single
And we hit it off right away
So, we started living together
He'd go to work, [bad word] home
I'd fix him a drink, we'd have dinner
And then I found out
"Single" he told me?
Single, my [bad word] 
Not only was he married
Oh, no, he had six wives!
One of those Mormons, you know
So that night, when he came home
I fixed him his drink as usual
You know, some guys just can't hold their [bad word] 

JUNE (Spoken):
Now, I'm standing in the kitchen
Carvin' up the chicken for dinner
Minding my own business
And in storms my husband Wilbur
In a jealous rage
"You been screwin' the milkman!" he says
He was crazy and he kept screamin',
"You been screwin the milkman!"
And then he ran into my knife
He ran into my knife ten times!

ALL:
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same

HUNYAK (Spoken):
Mit kersek, en itt? Azt mondjok
Hogy a hires lakem lefogta
ferjemet en meg lecsaptam a fejet
De nem igaz, en artatlan vagyok
Nem tudom mert mondja
Uncle Sam hogy en tettem
Probaltam a rendorsegen megmayarazni de nem ertettek meg

JUNE (Spoken): Yeah, but did you do it?

HUNYAK (Spoken): Uh uh! Not guilty!

VELMA (Spoken):
My sister, Veronica and I did this double act
And my husband, Charlie, used to travel round with us
Now, for the last number in our act
we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row
One,two,three,four,five.....splits, spread-eagles
Back flips, flip flops, one right after the other
So this one night before the show
We're down at the hotel Cicero, the three of us, boozin'
Havin' a few laughs and we ran out of ice
So I go out to get some [bad word] back, open the door, and there's Veronica and Charlie
Doing Number Seventeen, the spread-eagle
Well, I was in such a state of shock [bad word] blacked out, I can't remember a thing
It wasn't until later when I was washing the blood off my hands
I even knew they were dead.

VELMA: They had [bad word] GIRLS: They had [bad word] VELMA: They had [bad word] GIRLS: They had [bad word] VELMA: They had [bad word] all along
GIRLS: They had [bad word] all along
VELMA: I didn't do it
GIRLS: She didn't do it
VELMA: But if I done it
GIRLS: But if she done it
VELMA: How could you tell me that I was wrong?

MONA (Spoken):
I loved Al Lipschitz more than I can possibly say
He was a real artistic guy...sensitive...a painter
But he was always trying to find himself
He'd go out every night looking for himself
And on the way he [bad word]  Gladys, Rosemary and Irving
I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences
He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead!