Set fire to your hair
Poke a stick at a grizzly bear
Eat medicine that’s out of date
Use your private parts as piranha bait

Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die, dumb ways to di-i-i-ie, so many dumb ways to die

Get your toast out with a fork
Do your own electrical work
Teach yourself how to fly
Eat a two week old unrefrigerated pie

Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die, dumb ways to di-i-i-ie, so many dumb ways to die

Invite a psycho-killer inside
Scratch a [bad word] dealer’s brand new ride
Take your helmet off in outer space
Use your clothes dryer as a hiding place

Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die, dumb ways to di-i-i-ie, so many dumb ways to die

Keep a rattlesnake as pet
Sell both your kidneys on the internet
Eat a tube of superglue
“I wonder what’s this red button do?”

Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die, dumb ways to di-i-i-ie, so many dumb ways to die

Dress up like a moose during hunting season
Disturb a nest of wasps for no good reason
Stand on the edge of a train station platform
Drive around the boom gates at a level [bad word] across the tracks between the platforms
They may not rhyme but they’re quite possibly

Dumbest ways to die
Dumbest ways to die
Dumbest ways to di-i-i-ie
So many dumb
So many dumb ways to die